socially inept

today I was thinking about the kind of movies I like.

and then I started to name off my favorites in my head...

Benny and June
The Other Sister
Mozart and the Whale
Lars and the Real Girl

is anyone else seeing a trend?

I think that I'm drawn to movies where the socially inept fall in love. I never really thought to sought out why. But the more I think about it, and the more I am subjected to an honest-to-myself love, the more I realize that I'm the one who felt like the mentally retarded, the autistic, the socially inept. They are all me, exaggerated.

Its like what Wynona Rider said in Girl, Interrupted, "Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It's you or me amplified."

deer innards

There is a freaking deer head in my room. What the F? What's worse is he watches me sleep...well, he would be if his eyes weren't plastic...and his head wasn't detached from his body...and if he was filled with deer-innards instead of whatever the heck taxidermist use to stuff these things. God my parents house is weird.

After a year of living alone, I do like that I come home to other human life...feline as well. The bird is another story. Don't ever (seriously) think that a macaw would be a cool pet. It won't be. Unless you're a masochist.

I also like that I have an oven. I think I've made six cakes in the last month. Now would be a good time to be my friend...if you like cake.

Plus I'm about to save money up the ying-yang. I like that as well.

Twenty-three is such a strange age. But every year since I was thirteen has be strange...and I've felt pretty much the same since then. Juvenile. I've always felt too young. I think Joey said it best when he mused,

"The older we get, the more we realized how much we don't know."

Did I mention I'm dating a brilliant man? Did I mention he used to sew his pants to his legs and had a blue mohawk? I'll probably mention it again.

I saw his old leather jacket hanging up in his closet the other day and like a crazy person just burst into tears of overwhelming joy. Then I put it on and he shed a tear or three of disbelief. I should mention not a word was spoken throughout this whole ordeal. Yeah, we seem normal in public.

I have a headache, but I'm feeling blissful.

I'm going to go polish off the spice cake...and then I'm going to make lemon squares.

I would just like to say that my boyfriend is a carpenter and the most hard-working and talented man I've ever met.

and might I add, Boo-Ya!

jewish angel

I had to have been between 4 and 7-it was before Cody was born and after I'd started school. My elementary school had this rule about Halloween. You could only dress up as a character from a book, and you had to bring that book to justify your guise. So I had made up my young mind and wanted to be a witch. So my mom took me to the Whittier Public Library so we could find a book to suite.
We were looking in the children's section, and I remember the aisles being incredibly tall and and intimidating. Thinking back now, I'm sure they were no higher than four feet. There was a woman-I remember her in a long skirt, I think she worn earthy tones, and she had long, dark, and comically curly hair and she wore circular seeing glasses. I remember her name was Ruth because there was a girl in my class who's name was Ruth and I only remember her because she was the only jewish kid in our entire school and she never joined in on our holiday festivities (such as this Halloween celebrating disguised as the "Literary Parade"
She must have been casually carrying on an in-passing conversation with my mom, a strange and universal event I'd noticed grown-ups did quite often. At some point she directed her attention towards me and must have asked me something along the lines of what kind of book I was looking for. I don't know if she began to minister to my mom or do so in a much more subtle and gentle way to my child-self. I don't even know if she mentioned a religion at all. All I remember is her smiling a sincerely happy smile and rattling off all of these beautiful names, Sarah, Deborah, and even her own name-sake-as she thumbed through a worn black book which I can safely assume was an Old Testament.
What I remember most is looking up at my young and beautiful mother as we walked out of the library and seeing tears in her eyes as she looked back at me. I remember her smiling, really smiling, and holding my hand. She said to me, "Amberlee, you know what Ruth is? She's an angel." I remember believing her whole-heartedly.

And that really stuck with me.

can anybody find meeeeeeee...somebody toooo...looOOooOooOOooove...

I wish I was Freddie Mercury.

Except the gay and dead aspects of him.

Because I tend to leave things in the refrigerator at work on a regular basis.

I think...

...I was hit on by a Green Peace activist outside Target today.

Yes, I did know Obama's in Orange County today.
No, I wouldn't like to get coffee with you and talk about Kleenex's refusal to use recycled products.

PS~ he had an old-timey curled-up mustache. That detail seems important.